Beyond Expectations: Living with Open Hands and an Open Heart

For years, I carried a quiet but heavy weight - expectations. Expectations of how life should unfold, how relationships should last, and how my own growth should look. I thought I had control, or at least some level of certainty, over the outcomes of my choices. But over time, life has taught me otherwise.

Waking Up to Myself

A few years ago, I realized how much of who I was had been shaped by childhood experiences - by what I had seen, heard, and absorbed without even knowing it. I didn’t fully like who I had become, so I started therapy and began the long, often uncomfortable, journey of deeper healing.

Life became harder once I began. My therapist once said, “You’ve cracked the egg - now you have to decide what to do with it. Boil it? Scramble it? Maybe make it sunny side up?” In other words, once you gain awareness of what needs healing, there’s no going back. A friend once put it even more bluntly during one of our community hikes: “Awareness is a bi^&chy gift.” And it is so true.

As I worked with therapists and coaches, I began peeling back the layers and reconnecting with who I was at my core. But I also fell into a trap - expecting there to be an end goal. Many people in the self-healing and coaching world sell the idea of a final result - “Buy this program and get this outcome… take this course and you’ll achieve that…”

But healing isn’t linear, and there is no final destination. Believing there was one led me to disappointment time and time again - whether in my personal growth, my business, or my relationships.

Faith: The Anchor Through It All

Looking back now, I see what truly carried me through my hardest seasons. It wasn’t the endless self-work—it was faith.

Faith in God. Faith that there was a higher plan at work, even when I couldn’t see it.

Over the past year especially, my relationship with God has deepened in ways I couldn’t have imagined. I’ve been blessed to meet others who don’t just talk about faith but live it—with integrity, humility, and grace. They’ve shown me that living by God’s values isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it.

And here’s what I’ve come to understand:

If we live by faith, we know that joy and suffering will both be part of life. We know that quick-fix programs or “easy paths” often sell the illusion of avoiding discomfort. But real growth means feeling everything—joy and pain coexisting—and learning to trust God in all of it.

When Expectations Break

Recently, I experienced something I truly believed would last. I was certain it was meant to be - a forever thing- and I bet on it with my whole heart. But life had other plans.

In the past, this would have crushed me for weeks or months. But this time, something was different. My faith was stronger. My support system - friends who also live by God’s Word - was closer than ever. And perhaps most importantly, I’ve learned that heartbreak is not the end; it’s an invitation to keep my heart open, to feel deeply, and to trust that every ending holds a lesson.

Expectations can trap us. They make us believe that happiness depends on a particular outcome. But often, what we think is “forever” was only meant to guide us toward deeper growth, to show us how much healing we’ve done - and how much faith we still have to cultivate.

When Life Surprises You in Other Ways

We are often our own worst critics. You might be sitting here, thinking you’ve failed, that you’re not worthy, or that something is wrong with you - while someone else is admiring how brave and inspiring you are.

This is why it’s so important to surround yourself with people who truly see you, who love and accept you for who you are - and who can offer constructive feedback when needed.

But even with support, here’s what I believe: no one can save us from our own journey. What we are meant to experience is already written, and every challenge shapes us into a more mature, aware, and compassionate version of ourselves.

The key is perspective - choosing to look for lessons rather than judgments. Every experience, even the painful ones, can carry wisdom if we allow it.

Living Beyond Expectations

So what do we do with all of this?

We let go.

We loosen our grip on what we think life should look like.

We trust that even when things don’t unfold as we hoped, they are guiding us toward deeper presence, faith, and courage.

When we pray for strength, God may not hand it to us neatly - He may give us situations that test it. When we ask for peace, He may give us disruptions that invite us to cultivate it. And when we place our hope in a particular outcome, He may gently remind us that His plan is far greater than ours.

A Gentle Reminder for You

If you find yourself feeling disappointed or discouraged - whether by a relationship, a dream, or an experience - remember this:

• Your heart grows stronger each time it opens, even if it breaks.

• What feels like a detour may actually be preparation.

• And while you may be criticizing yourself, someone else may be admiring the courage it took for you to even try.

  
  

Live with open hands.

Love with an open heart.

And trust that God’s plan - however surprising - is always designed to grow you, guide you, and bring you closer to Him - and closer to yourself.